Boys of Richland by Daniela Romero

Dropping one knee on the mattress, he lays me back, all the while kissing me, caressing me. My body sinks into the comforter and I freeze, locking up at the feel of his strong, powerful frame hovering over mine.

I can’t help my reaction. Squeezing my eyes closed, I count to ten in a desperate attempt to talk myself down. Gabriel doesn’t notice at first. He continues to kiss me, trailing his lips across my cheek and along my jawline. One hand holds my hip, pressing me down, pinning me in place.

I can’t… I open and close my mouth, struggling to breathe.

Panic rises in my chest and my breaths come out as heavy pants. Gabriel shifts his weight, moving his position to settle himself beside me.

He props himself up on one elbow while his other arm curls around my hip, tugging me close as he rolls me to my side to face him. “Hey,” he whispers against my lips. “We’re not going any further than this.” His words are meant to reassure me, but I’m having a hard time getting enough air into my lungs. I swallow hard and open my eyes, peering up at him between my lashes. He lifts a hand and strokes his thumb along my jaw, eyes filled with concern.

“I’m sorry.” My cheeks burn and I look away, but his hand cupping my jaw draws my attention back to him.

“Don’t apologize,” he says. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m not here to get in your pants. That’s not what I’m after.”

My brows furrow together. “It’s not?”

He barks out a laugh and presses a quick kiss to my lips, unraveling the knot of tension inside me. “I mean, I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about it.” He waggles his brows and I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face. “But we’ll move at your pace. Whatever it might be. This, us, it’s new,” he tells me, reaching down to lace the fingers of his hand with mine. “We don’t have to rush things. I’ll be happy if you let me hold you.” He presses another quick kiss to my lips. “And happier if I can kiss you.”

I worry my bottom lip, looking down at our entwined hands. I don’t want to over analyze what this means. He’s kissed me twice now. But that doesn’t mean this is a relationship. I’ve never done casual, but maybe casual is exactly what I need.

“We don’t need to take anything further than that,” Gabriel assures me.

“I—” His expression is tight, almost hopeful, as he waits for me to respond, but I don’t know how to put words to what I want to say. Gabriel is infuriating, but there’s no denying I’m attracted to him. That he brings out this side of me that I had buried away. He pushes me, gets under my skin. But more importantly, he makes me feel alive.

“What if I want to do more?” I ask.

His adam’s apple bobs in his throat and he tucks a loose tendril of hair behind my ears. “I don’t think—“

“Please.” My eyes stay locked on his and electricity crackles between us as indecision plays out across his face. I want to chase this feeling. To know I’m not broken beyond repair, and I think Gabriel can give me that.

“You said we could be broken together,” I remind him.

His gaze rakes over my face, looking for any sign of indecision, but he won’t find one. I’m sure about this, or at least as sure as I can be.

He licks his lips and his eyes flick to my mouth, a hungry look taking over his expression. “Are you sure?” His voice is husky and I squeeze my legs together as I nod in confirmation.

“Yes.”

“We’re not having sex.”

I open my mouth to argue, but he raises one hand to stop me.

“I’m not saying I don’t want to.” He pulls me impossibly close, pressing the hard length of his erection against my abdomen to show me the extent of his desire. “But, you’re not ready. And I’m not going to take advantage of you.”

I chew on my bottom lip, feeling the sting of his rejection, but nod my head anyway, accepting defeat until he adds, “That doesn’t mean I can’t make you feel good.”

My head jerks up and he grins.

“Would you like that?” he asks. “You want me to make you feel good?”