Finding Charlie by Jess Allen

For the rest of her life, whenever she closed her eyes, she’d see Liam’s face at that moment. Hurt and fury blended into anguish, his face twisted and eyes cold. Eyebrows narrowed in disdain.

“Hey there,” Jack said from behind her. He stuck his hand out to Liam. “I’m Jack, and you are?”

Liam didn’t acknowledge him or his offer of a handshake. Instead, he turned and walked away from Charlie. She watched as he got into his car and peeled out of the parking lot, disappearing from sight. She watched the space where he stood, as if watching would bring him back.

“Charlie, you look like you saw a ghost.” Jack moved in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders. “You all right? Who was that?”

Her face fell, the weight of what she’d done bearing down on her. She wanted to crash to her knees and let the heaviness blanket her until she couldn’t feel it anymore.

“Hey, let’s get home,” Jack pleaded gently.

“Go ahead,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I’ll meet you there. I just …I need a minute.”

Questions plagued Jack’s face, but he didn’t object.

The stars kept shining; the crickets continued to chirp. Families hugged their kids for a job well done and piled into cars to go home. Time passed, crowds dispersed. She waved off the coach when he told her he was shutting down the lights. The world moved on unaffected while Charlie’s carefully built life crashed and burned around her. She found herself on the pitcher’s mound, her bare legs covered in goosebumps despite the late summer heat.

She screamed into the night sky. She stomped and kicked at the dirt. Dust billowed around her like a tornado. She flailed her arms and pounded her feet while ugly tears slid down her cheeks. Why? What will happen now? Bile rose in her throat, and her heart pounded so hard she thought it might burst.

Impossible questions throttled her, which only made her cry harder. What-ifs circled her like vultures. She thought of Matty and their wonderful life with Ada and Sam. What would she tell them? She plopped to the ground and pulled her knees to her chest. She wanted to curl into a ball and sleep. Every muscle in her body ached with exhaustion. The emotional turmoil of the evening finally catching up to her. She longed to be held, to smell Rachel’s lavender perfume as she held her close.

Tires in the gravel lot startled her out of her misery, and she watched as Liam climbed out of the driver’s seat and strode toward her.